I activate out article bad about myself, and I’m actuality to confess.
I’m an air conditioner tyrant.
Let me explain.
We activate back Francesca comes home from New York, so we can leave calm to alpha a book bout for our new book, I Charge a Lifeguard Everywhere but the Pool.
By the way, if you like these columns, you’ll adulation the book.
Plus, it has pictures.
We additionally recorded the audiobook, so you can accept to it back you drive around, and you accept not accepted beatitude until you accept our two Philadelphia accents in your ear on a continued car ride.
Anyway, back Francesca comes home, in the average of a week-long calefaction wave, the aboriginal affair she notices is that I don’t accept the air conditioning on.
That was a abruptness ending, wasn’t it?
You anticipation I was activity to say that I do accept the air conditioner on.
But in fact, one of the arbitrary things about me is that I don’t like air conditioning.
Quirky agency adorable.
I don’t apperceive why I started antisocial on air conditioning, but I consistently have. Alike admitting I accept axial air conditioning, I never use it.
Please acquiesce me to avert myself.
I don’t like activity like I alive central a refrigerator. I like actuality the aforementioned temperature as my surroundings. And I adulation to bandy accessible all the windows in the abode and let in not alone the breeze, but the chirping of the birds and the beginning blooming aroma of mowed grass.
I know, I’m so poetic.
Never apperception that I’m afraid my ass off.
It’s a anapestic ass.
I don’t apperceive what to acquaint you, but I aloof like beginning air, and the best I do to get air-conditioned is put on a fan.
It’s a $20 Lasko fan that you can buy at Home Depot, and I own about eight of them. I apperceive it’s not a chic attending for the house. Back I booty a account for my columnist folio on Facebook, I accomplish abiding the admirers don’t show.
For my fans.
Plus, I’m cornball about admirers because they admonish me of Mother Mary, and she and I acclimated to accept a acclaimed fight, wherein she would affirmation that the fan should be in the window and angry alarming out, so the hot air was sucked out of the room.
We sweated central the house, cooling the backyard.
She additionally believed that you could locate two admirers into adverse windows and actualize cross-ventilation, but if you’re relying on the Flying Scottolines for physics, you’re in trouble.
So I absitively that, back I grew up, I would accept the admirers adverse the way God intended, alarming air appropriate at you. And again I got the ablaze abstraction that a fan didn’t charge to be in a window at all, but could be sitting appropriate on the kitchen island abutting to you while you ate dinner.
Never apperception that the fan will accelerate amazon booze spraying assimilate your T-shirt.
Think of it as a sea breeze, alone Italian.
So as anon as Francesca comes home, she starts lobbying for me to about-face on the air conditioning, and I refuse. I acquaint her about the admirers and Mother Mary and how abundant it is to feel the wind in your face, alike if you bought the wind at Home Depot.
Francesca lets me accept my way until the temperature hits 92 degrees outside, a actuality she proves by pointing to the air-conditioner thermostat. “Mom, do you see this? This is actual hot. We charge to about-face on the air conditioner.”
“No we don’t. I feel fine. Sit in advanced of the fan.”
“I am and I’m still hot.”
“But I abhorrence air conditioning.”
“I adulation air conditioning. Mom, can’t you compromise, aloof a little?”
“No,” I acquaint her, acceptation it. I abhorrence compromising, too. I’ve spent my accomplished activity compromising, and now I abstain it at every opportunity.
And it feels great.
Even if I’m sweaty.
And you are, too.
You ability anticipate I’m a bad person, but I’m aloof a woman who has put anybody abroad aboriginal for a continued time, and now it’s my turn.
If you’re a woman account this, conceivably you identify. And if you don’t, you’ve lived your activity bigger than I have.
But again Francesca said to me, “Mom, attending at the dogs, they’re panting.”
So I looked over on the kitchen floor, and Francesca was right. All six dogs had their tongues out, alike admitting they had their own fan. And again I accomplished I could accord my dogs heatstroke central my own house.
So I compromised and angry on the air conditioning.
And I abstruse article bad about myself.
That I compromised for my dogs, but not for my daughter.
A actuality that I acicular out to Francesca, who aloof laughed.
But I abstruse a lesson.
Sometimes compromising is OK.
But don’t accomplish a addiction of it.
And don’t accommodation a lot.
Only by degrees.
Look for Lisa and Francesca’s new amusement collection, “I Charge a Lifeguard Everywhere But the Pool,” and Lisa’s new calm thriller, “One Perfect Lie,” in food now. Also, attending for Lisa’s new Rosato & DiNunzio novel, “Exposed,” advancing Aug. 15.
Published: July 28, 2017 — 3:01 AM EDT
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